Still here

The very few readers that I have (if they ever come back) might wonder if I actually died from taking the bar exam, if the test literally ate me up and spit me out. 

Well, I'm still living and breathing.  I have worked on a long post about the whole thing, but I realize that I'm never finishing that post, so I either have to go away forever, or come back without a long dissertation on the bar exam.

The first time I took the bar, I was absolutely convinced that I failed, until I found out that I passed.  And that time, I studied for 6 weeks, full time, took Bar Bri, PMBR, and did lots of practice essays, etc.  Suffice it to say the fact that I am older, and presumably wiser has not changed my basic nature.  So I think most of the time that I failed, but hope that I am wrong.  I could kick myself, because if I failed it is because I sort of panicked on one essay.  The essay was clearly based on a case that I personally worked on for about two years, and I couldn't see the forest for the trees.  It should have been a gift, but it was the opposite.  Based on conversations I had with people after the exam, and things I've read, other people wrote about issues that I didn't "spot," because they weren't real issues in the actual case that I worked on, or they were issues that were resolved during the course of the litigation in a minor way, and I just didn't focus on them at all, but I'm pretty sure the bar examiners wanted that analysis.  Our case revolved almost entirely on one particular issue, and I focused on that issue too much.  When I realized that I was not really getting this essay, I moved on without finishing it, and never really had time to get back to it in a comprehensive way.  I had one other very weak essay (that I know almost everyone else also had trouble with) and I think with two very weak essays, one very strong essay, one pretty strong essay, and the others fair to middling, I'm doomed.  It kills me because if I had just plowed methodically through the one that was like my case, I think I would probably be fine. 

If I failed, I know why, and I'm sure I will pass the next time.  That's all I will say until the results come back in May.  I just wish I would stop having nightmares where I forgot to answer three essays, and stole my test booklet, and am trying to answer the questions in the bathroom stall without anyone finding out, and stuff like that.  `Cause that dream, that dream is really annoying. 

I will move on to other things, like my life, as best as I can. 

Some random cute things, just to get back into the swing of things.

This weekend, Clare came running out of her brother's room, shouting "mommy, daddy, emergency, emergency!!"  So of course we dropped what we were doing, and ran as fast as we could to see what was wrong.  The emergency was that Fiona was peeing on the floor.  They are very newly potty-trained, so this is not an entirely unexpected occurrence.  But as my husband was peeling off her brand-new pants, that I had put on her literally 15 minute before she peed through them, he said "don't worry Fiona, we know it was just an accident."  She said "oh, no, Daddy, it was on puhpose, I was too busy playing with Polly Pockets to use the potty."  She wasn't the least bit bothered by having peed on the floor.  I had to leave the room so she wouldn't see me laugh.

Fiona also said this weekend "mommy, when I was a baby, before I was a grownup girl, I ran up your leg and jumped in your tummy, and that is where I grew."  Clare said "I used a ladder to climb up your leg and I jumped in your belly."  I guess that is a reasonable understanding of the facts of life for a three-year old.  It will be quite a while before I try to straighten them out on that one.  And considering we did IVF and ICSI and PGD to make them, maybe it is not such a bad explanation.

Comments

[Adrienne]

So glad you're back, and not surprised it took this long. The bar exam is a great soul-sucking vampire and I don't think I actually moved from the couch for two weeks after each one, except to fill up my wine glass.

And I won't tell you you're wrong on how you did because it won't help, you'll still think you've blown it, until you plug your name and number into the bar examiners' website and see that you're on the pass list.

And Fiona sounds like a completely practical soul. This story made me giggle and smile.

Welcome back, LegalMama!

[Aurelia]

OMG, I'm laughing at the pee story.

And also thinking, gee, this post is why full lawyers shouldn't have to write the bar exam!

It's like putting you in conflict of interest or something with the question from a case you worked on, isn't it?

Or at least it's unfair to you. Anyway, glad you are back!